3:45 a.m.

marks the end
of her second hour
listening to a
determined toddler
who wants to sleep
in the big bed.

self-congratulation over
nineteen months keeping
that boy tucked in his crib
fuels her stubborn hold
on this last sanctuary,

but it's a dark desperation
in a sleep-deprived parent,
staring down a long day
of tantrums,
weak and ready to follow
any guidance, seek help
anywhere it might exist.

the only lesson a parent learns is patience--
4 a.m. silence.

the sun rises
on a bleary-eyed, caffeinated mom
who cannot understand
how the blonde menace, baby
bags under his eyes, has the energy
or the humor to giggle, reach out, and touch
her cheek.

the apology
she is too tired
to refuse.